Moonwalking saves all social situations

I wanted to get to Starbucks way earlier today but I wound up walking in the park with a dog for most of my day. I got here at three and posted the blog entry I wrote last night, as you probably saw, and then I began to focus on the world around me.

First off, we have no internet at home. This means that a family outing entails the three of us sitting in Starbucks, fighting over the one outlet and not talking. I went to go sit in the other corner of Starbucks because the outlet was taken by two other jokers(Dad and S-Mom) so I had to join a weird fella on the arm chairs. He responded slowly. Not like... 'let me think about that' slowly but genuinely slowly. It was like slightly retarded slowly. I felt uncomfortable right off the bat and it wasn't because of the pauses. It was because during the pauses, he stared at me without a single break to blink. I think he had see-through eyelid like lizards do that was always covering and moistening his eyes. It was disturbing. Terrifying. I wanted to leave because I'm a panic queen and I was already feeling vulnerable because when I entered the coffee joint, I walked straight into the door. So I sat next to the slow-talker without visible eyelids and we had a very awkward conversation about Camp Sunshine and how he is a missionary even though he seemed extremely gay and had his ears pierced and obviously moisturized his hands. I needed to get away.

"Well my family's in the other corner and I'm going to go join them."

It seemed so safe. I thought it would result in the typical 'oh alright, nice talking to you' but no. He broke out into dramatics. He had the gay hand flop going on, he crossed his legs, and he said 'what do you think I am, a woman?'

I had to get out. I moonwalked halfway through Starbucks to avoid this painfully agonizing social situation I found myself in. Somehow I thought that this was acceptable. I thought it was more acceptable than just turning around and walking away. I guess I assumed that if I embarrassed myself in front of this man, he would feel better about being rejected. He didn't want to be stuck with a weirdo Michael Jackson wannabe anyway.

Although I can't see why, especially after watching me lose an epic battle with a glass door.