Maybe if I write down things as they happen to me I'll have a better memory so I can blog them later but probably not

It was a very good morning. I bought some giant yellow and blue glasses yesterday at the Dollar Store when I forgot what I went in for and since I woke up alone this morning, I figured it was a great time to put them on. I spent an hour standing around in the bathroom, singing along to Justin Beiber and James Blunt and trying to be a liquid flow dancer without much success.

Anyway, like it said,  very good morning. I was almost late for my bus and I forgot to eat or pack a fork which meant I couldn't eat my lunch either but it was okay because I had a fantastic morning and because of this it would be a fantastic day!

No.

I need to get into the habit of thinking things will go wrong as soon as life gets good for me. It never fails. As soon as I find twenty bucks on the ground, someone I owe money too will remind me and the twenty will go as fast as it came. If I manage to fit into a pair of really awesome jeans that are perfectly priced, I'll spill something oily on them and they'll be instantly ruined for the rest of my life. If I have a good morning, the rest of my day will go down the drain and force me to visit the video store for something sweet to assuage my desire to maul someone for funsies.

I guess it started with the fact that I didn't bring a fork. I should have but I was an idiot which really is no surprise at all. I'm at work for seven hours and I've forgotten a fork. I'm forkless. Considering this is a new town for me, I can't just call someone and ask them to bring me some noms or a fork because that would be rude and I'd get someone to deliver but it's such a small down that nobody delivers at all, let alone to a clothing shop nobody's heard of. 

Luckily for me(note the foolishness in this statement) I had a banana! All would be well in the world as long as I had this banana because when I don't eat I get cranky, much like el chupacabra. I reach around in my backpack and produce a beautiful, unbruised banana. Godly. Unfortunately, I got in a little snowboarding accident last winter and chipped my front tooth. I haven't been able to get it fixed but it's caused some nerve damage that brings me some pretty intense pain now and again. I wish I had known today was going to be a tooth hurting day because I went after that banana like you wouldn't believe. 

I'm already bored of this story. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even started with it. To make it really short, my day has sucked so far and I have two more hours to hang out here and be a pathetic, faily mess.

I need a bath when I get home.