I always wondered if there was a panther somewhere that was actually my brother

Why do people bring their tiny dogs with them everywhere? I guess I can see that it's sort of a fashion thing and why would you get a little dog if you didn't want to carry it around the mall and into Starbucks and shit like that. That's fine, I guess, but you'd probably look less like an idiot if you just got knocked up and carried a baby around. This isn't my way of condoning teenage pregnancy or anything like that, I just think that it would probably be about the same principle with a baby not to mention that when you walk around with a baby, you have a reason to bring it with you. You can't leave a baby at home all day and take it out for walks periodically. You can't just leave some dry food in a dish and trust your baby to feed itself. You can't give your baby a ridiculous name just to go along with the times because that baby will grow up and cry him or herself to sleep every night. A dog really won't care if you name him Yippy Long-Stockings. Well, he might a little. You can't tie your baby up to a fire hydrant outside and just assume it's not going to be kidnapped while you get some coffee. Basically if you have a baby, you can dress it up with pom-poms and fluffy dresses just like you would with that tiny dog of yours and you can carry it around all over the place without hearing a single complaint. Some places don't like your tiny dog stinking up their fine establishment.

Does anyone remember that old Charlie Brown episode/movie where Charlie Brown went to visit his girlfriend in the hospital and Snoopy and Woodstock tried to find him because they thought he left them for good? And everywhere they went had signs that said that no dogs or birds were allowed and that 'No dogs allowed' song was playing in the background?

That's the most vivid memory I have of my childhood. I just thought about that again now and I was wondering if anyone else remembered it. Also, that Gargoyles show. And Cyber Six. Now that was a fucked up show. She was a man by day, a crime-fighting chick by night and her brother was a panther? Her arch-nemesis was a little boy. It was a bit of a trip. I feel like I can safely blame those few years of gender confusion on this show.

The place I lived in when I was younger had a pretty big basement and it was down there that I had sort of my 'kid room'. This kid room was where I could go to watch TV, play on my playstation and sketch my childhood crush Yu-Gi from Yu-Gi-Oh into my notepad. Unfortunately to get to said kid room, I had to go down this long, spooky hallway and before I could get to my room I had to pass that one portion of the basement that still just had rocks for flooring and plastic on the walls. It was a huge empty space with no lights and the only thing between me and it was a flimsy sliding wooden door.

 Every night when I wanted to go watch TV I had to pass this room(which I called the 'werewolf room') and it scared the living shit out of me. Luckily at night, I was a superhero. I could battle werewolves and beat up vampires and nobody stood a damn chance against my seven-year-old self. I was a force to be reckoned with, I tell you.

Logically, if I was a superhero at night then I would be a man by day. Right? That's what Cyber Six taught me anyway. It may sound weird to you but trust me, if you grew up watching fucked up shows like Cyber Six you'd be a little bit confused too.