Everyone has a goddamn Twitter nowadays. Why? What the hell? I mean, if it was all just a bunch of normal people chatting with each other and having mutual respect, then that's cool. But celebrities have it. Like... Tila fucking Tequila and Kim Kardashian and shit. And all the tween dipshits are saying 'omg kristen stewart said that rubbing honey in your eyes will make them turn golden like EDWARD'S omg i'm soooo getting my boyfriend to do that.'
No. You know what, fuck you. I disagree. I think the Twitter rule should be that if you're gonna be on Twitter, you have to respond to people. It's the internet. Nobody is superior. It doesn't matter who you are in real life because on the internet, we're all idiots and that's a fact. I don't care if you're Michael Jordan, if I reply to your tweet with 'haha, i know mike, them white folks is WHACK', you have to respond to me. It's not fair that just because in real life you're a celebrity, you get to be an asshole on Twitter and only talk to other skanky celebrities. You're being a drama queen. I watched your show from beginning to end. I drew you a picture. I voted for you. I VOTED FOR YOU DAMNIT.
When I'm a celebrity, I'm going to treat everyone like equals. Celebrities nowadays are douchebags. I remember watching part of the filming of I Robot and as Will Smith was coming onto the set, he saw me watching and he waved. Why can't everyone be cool like Will Smith?
If you're a celebrity and you're reading this, I demand equal rights. If I wanted to, I could wear meat dresses and paint my face like Ziggy Stardust and make crappy music too just so I could make a twitter and be an attention whore.
/endrant
PS., if you hadn't noticed, I don't know if 'twitter' needs to be capitalized or not. Where's my old English teacher when I need her?
I'm glad you brought up two of my favorite topics in this post: Tila Tequila and Edward's eyes. I think this simple honey trick is big news, but so few people know about it! I've been telling most of my friends ever since she said that, and let me tell you: it works! It's so amazing, you'll never regret it. Although it's only temporary, so you have to keep applying the honey each night.
ReplyDeleteNow, I could have left an intelligent comment about how how I think celebrity worship and extreme fascination with watching other people's problems destroy their lives (these two intersect in Tila Tequila) is debasing and degrading. But I think my previous statements are more important.
PS Twitter ought to be capitalized, "to twitter" need not be.